After our whirlwind mini-vacation in Nashville, we are home and back to the regular routine. And, the regular routine includes not getting along with Aaron. He called me this morning as I was getting to work and really wanted to work together, to move forward, to patch things up and grow. I felt a bit of hope but I knew it would be short-lived. By the time, I left my office it was clear that things were back to the norm. Aaron dropped Sawyer off at CrossFit and left Nova to get her homework done while he went off to paddle and fish until 9:00 pm.
I quickly grabbed Nova and we picked Sawyer up from CrossFit. I laid on the ground for a minute while we were waiting for Sawyer and that moment of release was so needed. I had been moving from 6:30 am and needed that two minutes on the floor to recharge. If I hadn't been at the CrossFit gym, I might have broken down into ugly cry mode. Things just seem so hard right now. I know I am strong and am supported by the universe and I will get through this.
I loved to see Sawyer working so hard and loved being with both of my kids. We had errands to run (Target!) and then we rushed home to get dinner (tacos!) started. I made dinner while the kids did homework. I cleaned up while the kids did homework. Seems like the teachers are just cramming the homework before spring break starts.
I had a form I needed to fill out for Sawyer's school that wanted to know his strengths, weaknesses, and interests at school and at home. It was a good time to reflect on what a good boy I have. He is smart, so kind, funny and just fun to be around. Not to mention, he always seems to do the right thing. I worry a little about him being too nice and having his feelings hurt or being taken advantage of but I trust that the world will be kind to him.
After cleaning up, I laid on Sawyer's bed with him and we watched old videos that I had on my phone. Videos of him playing saxophone for the first time (so squeaky!), of him surfing a couple of years ago (the waves were so much smaller than what he surfs now), videos of my brother (he is so fun!) and funny videos of Sawyer and Nova when they were so much younger. They seemed to get along so much more when they were younger and I miss that. I guess the pre-teen/teen bickering is normal?
After I hit publish on this post, I am going to crawl into my bed and watch the rest of the Homeland episode I started yesterday.
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